(le) sigh

I head on my bike up to the Brooklyn Museum. It turns out that my Google Maps directions are ALMOST right... but one of the streets turns into something else, and there are no instructions for what I am suppose to do on this new street. I'm lost (surprise!!) I bike around until I find a bike shop and the people working there give me very explicit directions and I finally get there. If you have never been to the Brooklyn Museum, you might be thinking to yourself, "it must be a small museum about the history of Brooklyn or something, am I right?" No, you are not right. The Brooklyn Museum is a HUGE museum containing collections ranging from Ancient Egypt (including a collection of mummies) to a visiting Andy Warhol exhibit, and pretty much everything in between. I tried to include a list here, but it was simply too long. If you ever come to New York GO TO THE BROOKLYN MUSEUM!! I promise that you won't regret it. Admission is by donation, but even the suggested donation is fairly low (I think that it's under 10 bucks); if you get there early, you can throw admission to the Botanical Gardens on for a few extra bucks. WHAT A DEAL!!! I did NOT make it there early, and sadly did not have the time to make it to the botanical gardens. Though I enjoy cycling immensely, I am starting to question my strategy... if I were taking the subway, I would invariably, get lost less and have more time to see things. It would also, presumably take me less time to get to wherever I'm going even if I don't get lost (at least when I am going to major tourist attractions... not so much if I am going to some bar in Williamsburg, especially since I'm told that there are no trains that go across Brooklyn, so you have to train downtown and then back over to Brooklyn on a different line)
I take my time wandering through the various exhibits and not for the first time since I've gotten to New York, I feel incredibly lonely. I can't help but compare this trip to my trip to Paris; while I remember being alone there, I don't think that it bothered me so much. There was something romantic about being on my own in the big city and giving myself over and letting it swallow me whole. Maybe I was so use to loneliness then that it was just nice to be lonely in a new place. I'm still use to feeling lonely, but not at all in the same way. I miss familiarity; I miss Karlene and Ayma; I miss getting phone calls and texts and intimate conversations; I miss my cats. If I want to be honest with myself, I also miss Jake. He's the person who I thought of the most while walking through the museum, and I almost started to cry. If things could have worked out differently, this is a trip that I would have taken with Jake. I always think of him when I feel completely and utterly alone, and I wonder when this will finally change, or if I will think of him in this melancholy and painful way for the rest of my life. Despite everything, he is still closer to my heart than any other person has ever been. He is the only person who I have really ever just fully and completely allowed myself to love. And while I like to think that I have moved on in so many ways, I am so tired of feeling my heart tethered to his whenever I feel sad. I wish that I could stop wishing that things could have worked out and that he were here.
THE SAD FEELING!!
*phew*
Ok, before I start bawling in the middle of this cafe, time to get back to the museum!!

The OTHER thoughts that I am having while walking through this museum are "HOLY SHIT!! I get to see relics from fucking ANCIENT EGYPT AND Warhol pieces AND paintings by the likes of Picasso and Matisse AND culturally significant pieces from small tribes in Africa AND AND AND AND... for SIX DOLLARS?!?? WHAT THE FUCK. THIS IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE." How is this even possible?? At other points in history, there is just no way that someone of my specific socio-economic status would ever be able to see so much beautiful and incredible art so up close and personal. I feel so incredibly lucky and overwhelmed by it all.
It blows my mind when walking through various exhibits (especially on Egypt) that there was someone using these objects thousands of years ago. Like, this necklace with a scarab on it... four thousand years ago, some egyptian girl was getting ready for her day in the morning, deciding what to wear, thinking about the things that she had to get done or a boy she had a crush on, and she put on this necklace, FOUR THOUSAND YEARS AGO. And now, here I am, looking at it in a museum. Isn't that fucking incredible?!?!

After the museum, I bike around and get lost, and find my way, and arrive at home. I reheat leftovers from last night's dinner. Matt is home and I finally have a chance to talk to him about the possibility of staying here longer. The plan is that I will crash at Jenna's for the weekend to give them a houseguest break, and then I will come back on Monday afternoon, when Matt will be heading to Vietnam until early September. Matt says that during this time, I can rent out his room for the same price I have been paying for the mezzanine. Basically a hundred bucks. How lucky am I?!? I text Jenna immediately to make sure it is ok that I stay there, and she says it's ok, but it will be a bit tricky because there are not enough sets of keys. She seems a little bit less enthusiastic than when she offered up the possibility the night before, but I'm sure that it will be ALRIGHT!

I head out to the park because I am going to see an outdoor movie. As I'm walking through DUMBO, I pass a bank and decide to try one more time to get money out. SUCCESS!! Vancity has clearly resolved the problem, but DIDN'T send me an email confirmation like I asked them to, so I am still kind of miffed. But hurray!! I have cash!! The other thing that I pass is this incredible candy store. I am not normally a candy person, but holy moly this place BLOWS MY MIND. There is basically every kind of candy imaginable; I can't help myself - I grab a bag and start filling it up with sugary treats. By the time I get to the counter, I have collected a POUND of candy. no joke.
I bike over to the Brooklyn Bridge park, and then a few minutes later decide that I will actually head over to Manhattan to meet Zoe's roommate and co for Muppets take Manhattan. Movies!!
i arrive to find that there area limited number of seats, despite the fact that it is an open air event. It's 'sold out'!. womps. I text Chris, and it turns out that they didn't get in either, so I head over towards the Pier to meet them. So there's Chris, his girlfriend, and another friend of theirs. I am an asshole and I currently forget their names, but they are lovely lovely lovely people. His girlfriend is the cutest little button pretty much ever. We sit on the pier and drink a few beers from my backpack and eat candy. We then head to a few different bars and end up having intense and serious conversations about various social issues and also about history and blah blah blah blah. What a great evening!
Around 11:30, they get really sleepy and we decide to call it a night. I have yet to have a crazy night out on the town. In fact, I have yet to even wear out ONE fancy dress!! What gives!! I hope that that will change this weekend.

I am suppose to go an see a show that Marshall is playing tonight, but he has yet to get back to me with a location and time etc etc, and I'm not really sure what to make of that, and I guess that I might end up going to see Pirhanna 3D with Casper and Rian instead.

When I get up in the morning, I shower quickly and pack up all of my things. Jenna has not yet told me when I should swing by, but I basically want to be ready at a moment's notice, because I don't want to wear out my welcome with the kids on John Street. I head over to the Dumbo General Store for breakfast and to type away. Their food is pretty decent but incredibly overpriced, but I don't know where else to go for breakfast food that is nearby.

Today my plan is to take it easy, and maybe head into Williamsburg to try to track down a pair of TOMS shoes in my size. I know that I can get them online, but I love them and would really like to be able to snag a pair while I am here.

As I type this, it's 11 am and my battery is about to run out and the cafe is finally starting to fill up with the regular breakfast crowd. Time to get this show on the road!!
11 days remain!